WAYFARING
Despite My Efforts, I Do Not See More Light
Often, an increase in spiritual aspiration (himma) in the disciple's heart translates into an increase in devotional practices. During this period of effort, the disciple may see less Light. Why is this? The initial response would be that they are still attached to their actions, forgetting that the Light is a divine grace and is never obtained through effort. This is true... but this answer is not very satisfying. The glimmers (Lana) from the Light are only reached through effort. However what is truly sought through prayer, dhikr, reciting the Quran is the state of presence (hudūr).
Many m of us, when we perform the daily litany (wird) or night vigils (qiyam al-layl), have only one thought in mind: to finish as quickly as possible. Dhikr is effort. The effort consists of emptying one's heart of everything and diving completely into the luminosity that appears during our remembrance. To achieve this, while continuing one's dhikr, one must focus on the disclosure of light, whether it be like smoke or waves or what have you, that appear in the dhikr and try to search for their center. By seeking the center of the light, it will expand, then it will begin to move, sometimes concentrating in the middle and sometimes moving from the middle outward. Despite all these movements, one must continue to seek the center. Then the lower self (Al-nafs) will begin to play tricks on you, you will want to stop, you will think about work, your children, the harmful words that so-and-so said... but you must always return to the center and empty your mind.
This is the greater struggle (jihad al-akbar). It is impossible to maintain these efforts for a complete hour, but during this hour, one must choose moments when one will dive into the Light. 3 minutes... 2 minutes... then a time of rest. The deeper one dives, the more the spirit clothes us. It is then that visions appear, that the disciple sees what was hidden from them. They can then find themselves in any era, understand any verse, draw forth any knowledge. They will find the Prophetic spirit, waiting there for years despite its absence like an intimate friend of all times, they will find their Shaykh closer to them than they could have imagined, they will receive "private" lessons that no one else can reach. As for the flow of light, when the disciple dives deep enough, it will persist for days and they will enter into the Light much more quickly in subsequent dhikr sessions as long as they have not committed sins.
It is an exercise and it is learned with practice and with time, but it is within reach of every disciple. Whoever says: "Allah refuses me" or "it is not for me," should know that this is only the language of the nafs, and they are forbidding themselves from accessing this. Most of us, when we do dhikr, look at the Light from afar and wait patiently to see something while the mind is occupied with various distractions. If the disciple masters this "emptying" of the mind, they can do it at any moment of the day and thus find themselves immersed in the Lights while shopping with their eyes open... until this state becomes permanent. Then they will always be in the presence of their Lord.
In summary:
—Empty your mind for a few minutes
—Search for the center of the waves, the smoke, the vapor, the glow (the Karkari will understand the various disclosures of the Light)
—Try to look and explore in the center until the waves intensify, forget everything while doing this
—Continue this without stopping unless, upon entering the Light, a vision appears
—Avoid setting your gaze on all dark things
—The wird in a state of presence lasts at least 40 minutes, so for those who complete the wird in 10 minutes...
—P E R S E V E R E!
You may ask but why do some succeed without effort? Simply because they have been touched by the passionate love for the Shaykh. Anyone who has experienced passionate love knows that through love, one forgets everything. It becomes easy to concentrate on one's beloved and to dive into the Light, the mind no longer being occupied by anything else. It is a grace, but like all passions, it only lasts for a certain time, love only lasts three years as some say. After that, one will have to find the path of effort again.
When I speak of passionate love, I am not talking about "I really like them". I am talking about a passion where one forgets everything, family, friends, country, and our only desire is to stay close to that person.
When this passion begins to fade, the only way to make it return is to move away. Anyone who has experienced a romantic breakup knows that the beloved will remain in the heart for years when they have physically separated from you.
Publication Date
March 5, 2025
Translators:
Mobeen Ahmed