My state—what a state it is.
A state no words can describe,
No prolonged sighs can capture,
No leaning yearning can reach.

I thought I was who I have always been—
But I am no longer me.
I looked into the mirror,
And asked: Who am I?

I spoke a few words,
But were they truly mine?
I read what I wrote,
Yet it felt I had never written them.

I realized—
I am no longer me.
So who am I (anā)?

Somewhere between the alif and the other alif lies a nūn—
But where am I within them?
Don’t argue with the laws,
For I will never find to myself an “I” (anā).

This is not some cosmic philosophy,
This is the truth: I am not I.
Every thought I once thought,
Every knowledge I once claimed,
Every knot I once tied—
All of it, a spider’s web.

Everything around me,
Even the worlds within my cosmos,
Even my very breath and my heartbeats—
All, a spider’s web.

So who am I?
Call me mad, call me lost,
Say whatever you want,
Judge me with the laws of reason.
But if you only tasted a drop of my state,
You would excuse me long before my words.

Like a dream—or maybe a nightmare,
Like a book without rules,
Like a wedding where the groom never came,
Songs and drums, without sound or color.

Like paradise—like the fire,
I turn between them, night and day.
I am not me, nor him, nor you—
So who am I?

My doctor told me, my beloved told me:
This is your moment in the Aeon (dahr).
You never were, and you will never be.
But if you forget, you will remember who I am.

Hurry, O Distributor, hurry—
For the one who spoke has no patience left,
And the companion yearn for the green pupils.
And this poor soul—fate’s worlds have crushed him.

I am not fit for the stations of the Knower’s path,
Yet You, my Lord, are worthy of all grace and generosity.
You know my state, You know my question,
And You are the wisest of judges.

So unveil Yourself to us by Your Name al-Wadud (The Affectionate),
And admit us into the sainthood of the covenant, without chains.
Dissolve us into the tranquility of the secrets,
Satisfy us and be satisfied with us—
In the timeless infinity of the Absolute.

And send Your blessings and peace upon the one
Through whom mercy never ceases,
And by whom the darkness of otherness is lifted.

Paris, le 30.04.2022